What's in a name? Irony if nothing else...

hey y'all!

it's been a long time, right?

i won't dignify my absence with excuses, so let your imaginations run wild and free!!!


anyway. I'm ill. I'm grumpy. I'm tired. i keep pressing the wrong keys on my computer. i accidentally dropped a £1.00 in the bin.

there. a summery of what has happened up until this point..... all but ONE THING.


THIS ONE THING SHALL SHAKE YOU TO THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SOUL!!!

intrigued? good....



well first thing is first, if you know me, you'll know that I'm constantly hurled abuse at (while secretly enjoying the attention). mainly variations of my last name: Futcher.
also many comments about my man-ish ways and undefinable gender -.-'''

so imagine my shock when i typed into google my last name.

so great was my shock that i couldn't kept from mentally bitch-slapping a nearby librarian.

so fierce was the sheer irony that i couldn't physically keep from cackling like the malformed rent boy i am.




FUTCH IS LESBIAN SLANG FOR A PERSON WHO IS NEITHER FEMININE NOR BUTCH!!!




THERE MUST BE SOME TWISTED COSMIC FORCE THAT NAMED ME 'THE FUTCH' WHILST GIVING ME SUCH A MOCK ABLE EXISTENCE!!!





i hope that your lives are now as complete as mine is.


ta-ra!

c'est ridicule!!!! je suis morir!!!

wow. school. somehow, while it's better from my hellish holiday (see previous post), it seems so bittersweet to be back.

since i managed to accomplish no homework over the holidays, i'm in the middle of a mad dash to get the next days homework in. i spent 7 hours yesterday simply doing one piece of work.

SO TIMES 7 BY 4 PIECES OF WORK!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???

C'EST RIDICULE!!!

anyways, i shall blog through my work enduced tears and come out completely exhausted on the other side.


sigh, on to something happier i guess.



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well at the weekend i met up with some friends in town, awesome by itself.
now add into the equation the unlimited green tea, the two animes i bought, AND the three rare manga i stumbled across and you are left with a very happy futch indeed!

mmmmm.... green tea....


i'm tempted to write about how incredible these particular series' are but not many of you will be interested. so instead, i'll list some of my favorites (not in the right order) and you can do the research if you're interested m'kay? ;)

best manga list

• d.grey-man
• bleach
• zombie loan
• death note
• fruits basket

best anime list

• yami no matsuei
• naruto
• loveless
• clannad
• air tv

yeah, there's more but i'm limiting them too five each.

hmm...

i think i'll take this oppertunity to tell you a little more about me since i'll never get round to it again..

right-o

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actually, nah, i can't be bothered. if you want to know then bother me about it and i'll force myself round.

peace out, yo.

my holiday from hell. read if you dare!!!

I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!



you may (or may not) be pleased to know that i was not eaten by the beast of the cheshire moors. nor was a ground into cheshire cheese mrs lovett style.



so better then i expected.



overall though - absolute disaster.



ah-hem, list time

• there was little to no heating
• no hot water
• suspicious looking locals who glared at us whenever we ventured forth from our gated off area
• said locals believed our residence to be, and i quote, 'them houses be haunted, they be!'
• we were settled in a place called 'maggoty woods' near 'dark lane'
• the tv barely worked
• my phone had little reception
• THE INTERNET DIDN'T WORK!!!

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that i found THREE AXES UNDER THE SINK!!!! BLOODY AXES!!!

well i didn't stay to check for fresh blood, but you know what they say, if you don't want your nose cut off, keep it to yourself!

what a fun time right? i'd rather have stayed in the tower of london!

the locals actually stopped talkig and just stared at us whenever we entered a room. ordinarilly i would find this halarious - however i was silenced by my irrepressible memories of three bloody axes and the 'ghosts' around maggoty woods.

i barely made it out alive.

however, the god team found the whole trip wonderful and want ot go again next year.

...

...

only one word can sum up my feelings now...

....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

kidnapped? political prisoner? with biggins?!

...if I'm unreachable during the half-term week, don't worry i haven't died... technically. on the inside though I'll be writhing in agony.

yep, mum's decided that we all need a break, and although her intentions are undoubtedly good, she went ahead and booked us into a tiny cottage in some obscure/undisclosed location for five days.

FIVE EFFING DAYS!!! WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME!!!

when i asked what there is to do in said undisclosed location, she replied with a smile: 'nothing much, just walking. it's nice and enclosed so we can do things as a family!'

on its own, not bad, but five whole days with nothing to do but walk around or do homework.... insanity is bound to ensue. the worst part is that there is one hour of Internet a day. ration that between my sister and I leaves thirty minutes. subtracting homework needs leaves me with about five minutes to attempt a mental escape via the world wide web.

so to conclude. five days. enclosed environment. two devout Christians. and a baby. sharing room with said baby and sister. with nothing to do but work.

...this is meant to relax me HOW?!?!?!? I'd rather be choked to death by a constapated chinchilla!!!

goodbye dreams of a nice, quiet break at home with personal space and unlimited Internet access....

don't worry, panda, I'll be back in time for the second Saturday so the four of us can go into town then - I'll regale you with boring tales about walking around some desolate hellhole.


....ah well, i suppose it's not christian camp.








other then that, I've found my political calling at long last!

no, it's not the raving loony party (although that was a close second...). I'm now a sworn member of the liberal party XD. they are my peeps, yo!
I've been searching for a political association i can really believe in, and the liberals seem to tick all the boxes.

so there!



not much else other then a complaint and some kind of declaration of loyalty but whatever. if you've put up with my inconsistent updating this long then I'll trust you'll wait for my 'holiday' to end and I'll update then.



as a reward, I'll introduce you to a little game i enjoy playing. it's called.....


CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS HAS UP HIS BOTTOM TONIGHT!

it's a memory game with ensures hilarity. if Christopher biggins doesn't do it for you, then pick some other miscellaneous celebrity. basically it's a memory recall game - if i say:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight... the entire cast of hairspray.'

you would say:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight... the entire cast of hairspray and a disturbed hamster.'

to which i would reply:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight...'

so on and so forth.


gosh, i love biggins :)


anyway, over and out!

yo, what's happenin' homies?!?!?!

ahhh, coffee and polos.... storebought crack....

anyways, its been a while and i feel (vaugly) guilty about my long leave of absence.

ish.


so what's happened since my last post? well...

1. baby half rolled over.... or tried to...
2. schoolwork is bogging me down
3. aliens have finally taken over in mandelson-form
4. caffine has lost its buzz so i need to up my coffee intake dramatically
5. the mole-people's invasion is going swimmingly as we now have full mind control over czechoslavakia and minor parts of taiwan
6. for once i'm not hatingthe world and everyone in it - only those of the chav persuasion

fun ain't it?

i spent the whole of my free drawing pictures of moles in various positions (not like that...honest).

i call it - "THE MOLE CHRONICLES!!!"

Something tells me i'm not using my free lessons to the best of my ability.... meh

half-term should be fun - i will go to that gay bar!!!! there's a story here but i won't go into it.

okay, quite brief today, i'll make it later.

maybe...

futch-out!

recap

hola! it's been a while, right?
i'm sure you're hoping for a speedy and satisfying explanation as to my absence, but as per usual you're not going to get one... deal!

anyways, the least i can do is bore you all to death with everything that's happened up to this point.



m'kay folks, first item on the adgenda: GCSE results.

suprisingly, i passed them all - not with flying colours, but i passed none the less.
i got an A*, 3 A's, 4 B's, and 2 C's.
the A* was in english language; that suprised me. however i was even MORE suprised at the fact that i scraped a pass in history.
now that was unexpected seeing as i slept through most of the second exam and had to be forced to hand in my coursework. i get the feeling that the grade isn't accurate, but you know what they say. 'the nail that sticks up, gets hammered down'.

horrible thought but unfortunatly true. damn conformity....



moving on.

i'm loving my lessons - the honeymoon period is starting to wear off due to ridiculous amounts of homework, but this acedemic year is going to be much better then last year.

this is my solomn vow:

no more shall i procrastinate, put off, or postpone my schoolwork.
should i break this, i give you, my honoured blog follower, permission flick my earlobe in mild irratation.



got it? good.


yeah, i'm bored now.
this turned out shorter then intended, but i'll be posting more frequently to make up for it.





'till our next meeting,

XtfX

WTI (wasp transmitted infections) and lazy conspiracys

if i had to eradicate any species from the face of the planet, it would be wasps.
without a doubt.
here is a list about why i loathe them so:

• first off, they BUZZ in your FACE!!! purely to annoy you.
• second, they're sneaky! occasionally you can hear one, but cannot see one. making you paranoid for the rest of the day.
• thirdly, they hate me. no matter who else is in the room, they automatically go straight for me
• and that's not mentioning that one has just stung me. TWICE!!!

i was innocently sat in a restaurant when out of nowhere, one flew up my leg, decides it doesn't like me anymore. violently attacks me, and try's to make a quick getaway...

...noway that was gonna happen.

normally I'd spare the poor thing, but this one was just begging to be put out of it's misery... not to mention it's given me wasp aids...

so now I'm sat here with ammonia on my leg, gritting my teeth and wondering why wasps seem to be addicted to causing me pain.

should i go into another conspiracy rant?

meh, can't be bothered, so you lot can fill in the gaps.

okay, the basic format for a rant:

-blanks- are under government control so that -blank- can happen, which in turn creates a -blank- for all of the -blanks-. so in effect, what they don't want you to know is that -blank- and -blank- are trying to -blank-.

there, if you want a rant, do it yourself.

okay, moving on, my Pokemon binge is going swimmingly, panda's going to help me complete my pokedex, I've almost finished Colosseum, and i finally evolved what I've come to know as the fugly fish (feebas) into a milotic.

fugly fish was infuriatingly difficult to find - so much so that i spend 3 days of my life searching for it.

was it worth it? we'll see when i complete the Dex, but i get the feeling that I'll be left feeling that I've wasted a good chunk of my life.

i also dug out some of my old Digimon toys.

ahhhh, nostalgia.

i've been wearing my season 2 digivice all day. it's both funny and slightly sad.

other then that, nothing blog worthy has happened. so hold tight, once i get my results you can expect a loooooong rant.

brace yourselves for a long, whiny, and boring time from me until then.

kuh-brap!!!