my night out with a potential rapist, joy

has anyone else been called a Heathen lately?
no?
ha, you're missing out!
it is SO MUCH FUN!

outside of the cinema tonight there was some overly religious woman who clearly resented the fact that i told her I'm not religious. to her credit, this didn't deter her from trying to convert me (as if no one's tried before), to which i responded with a hearty laugh. soon i got bored and walked off with her calling me a heathen!

ha ha, twas amazing!

I'd love to see her face if i told her that I'd recently converted to Islam, next time i run into a half-crazed cross-junkie I'll try it.


anyway, i was at the cinema, on my way to see harry potter (shush!) with my dad (I forced him along XP) and i went to get us some drinks.

innocent enough.

however this seemingly ordinary event became not so ordinary when the girl serving me started acting a little...odd.
it was the adult showing, so I'm guessing she assumed i was 18 but she was quite obviously flirting.
winking and touching my hand...
it was both odd and flattering.


sigh, my first potential rapist, delighted.


so i went off, watched the film, didn't hate it, and came home. that's about it, bit an anti-climax to be honest. and that is basically all that's happened since my last post.

I've been to bored to do my promised experiment, but i did do an IQ test.

117, suck on THAT!

so feeling sustainably smug, relaxed, and attractive for once (even if only to cinema-counter lesbians) i shall leave this post for your enjoyment.

pip pip!

my addiction unveiled...

i have a confession to make. it's very serious so even if it sounds like a joke, i ca assure you it isn't. please, i beg of yuo as my fellow bloggers to hear me out and not judge me.

there's no easy way for me to say this but....

*standsup*

my name is grace....and i... am addict.

there. it's in the open.

now i'm not addicted to the traditional stuff, like heroin or alcohol. i am in face addicted to a little game called 'farm ville' on facebook.

i know this seems like a bit of an anti-climax, but i swear it's been tearing me appart!

i've stayed up until the early hours of the morning nigh on a week for the solepurpose of harvesting some artichokes that i planted the previous week. it's a viscious cycle.

i just can't leave it alone, because i planted those seed, i i feel i am responsible for nurturing them and loving each and every strawberry.

until a few days ago.

...

to put things simply, intervention. i realised that there was absolutely no point to the game. it was just plant, harvest, plant, harvest, plant, harvest day after day!

how could i have been so blind?

this experience really woke me up and i finally realised how easily i can slip into an obsessive insanity, especially with gaming (something that i love without limit).

so i've decided to take a break, and actually leave well enough alone. after all, if you can't maintain, abstain!

...wow... that was pretty good for a phrase i just made up.... i should do this more often...


aside from that, i need to get started on my homework for psychology. 'tis good homework though and i'm glad i picked it.

short meaningless post today, but with a sweet philosophicalish ending.

just right.

later then!

exorcists, sprogs and the chav psyche! why do i do these things?!?!?!?!

...sigh...

i hate my throat....

i've had this cough for over a week now and it sounds like i should call an exorcist for my lungs. seriously, it's all rumbly and evil-sounding!
but to my suprise, i'm not the only one! several people who i know (but have not been in contact with) have developed a similar illness.

coincidence?

i think not!


coughcough...conspiracy...coughcough....


and on top of it, i've just dropped a buiscuit into my coffee! now it's lumpy! GUH!!!

HOWEVER, aside from the demonic cough and the kamakaze biscuit of doom things have been great! for one reason......


i now have a nephew! it's a babeh! in my house!

those who know me know that normally i hate children with the passionate intent of a thousand exploding suns but i think that this must change.

let it be known that i hate ALMOST all children with the passionate intent of a thousand exploding suns becasue baby Riley Nathanial David William F*****r is awesome!

(by the way i wasn't beeping out a swear word, i was blanking out my name for privacy's sake.)

it's David after my dad, William after my grandad, and Nathanial because....erm....dunno really, it's probobly a christian thing...maybe?

but he is little and squishy and barely cries.

i have made a private pact to never let him be taken into the chavlish way of thinking as is the norm nowerdays. it'll be a challence but hey, a mini-male-me is going to be toddling around! haha, i'm multiplying! be afraid biatches!!!

ignore that...


on other news, i have come up with a new experiment!



this is so challenging, that i may never be the same mole afterwards. if that happens, may my sacrifice not be in vain.

if you're fed up with the chav bashing then i pity you, because this shall also be a chav-orintated experiment.

my goal? find out why chavs appear to be thicker then an industrial sized plank of wood. so to begin with, i will take an IQ test in the morning to measure my normal intelligence, then completely adsorb myself into the chav culture. well, only as far as listening to some HORRIFIC repetative chav track on repeat ALL DAY before retesting myself.

are we scared yet?

be expecting the results soon but for now, i must mourn my losses....

SPARE ME MY LIFE!

i have here infront of me a box of blackcurrent flavoured lozenges.

innocent, no?

well after reading the packet, i have found that it is not so innocent at all.

DO NOT EXCEED THE STATED DOSE.

IF YOU TAKE TOO MANY, TALK TO A DOCTOR STRAIGHT AWAY.

IF ANYTHING UNUSUAL HAPPENS, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.

O.o

am i the only one who finds this odd? so i am currently testing out how many lozenges it takes before i get illenough to stop.

lets see, a box of 24... 1 every 3 hours...

sounds do-able i guess. here goes nothing...





....






...





..





.







right changed my mind based on the fact that i don't want to be forever known as the mole-girl who died from a lozenger overdose.

not worth it.

but i have been itching to do another experiment so please give me some fresh ideas. although i must note that i don't want to die in an embarrassing way so.... be reasonable.

on other buissiness, i've been to a party!

with friends!

who i know!!!

LE GASP!

moving on, it was great fun so thankyou panda for inviting me!


hmm. what else?

OH! i found an amazing japanese learn english program! it's called "zuiikin' english" and it rocks!
it's right up my alley with useful phrases such as 'spare me my life', 'i was robbed by two men'
and 'take anything you want'

... it makes me glad to know that it seems we're looked upon as a load of muggers, murders and crime lords... at least they're prepared...

here's where you can watch a clip, it's strangely addictive! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0V5mvXKee8&feature=related

okay i'm bored again.

tune in later folks!

catch-up

surprise, surprise!
guess who's making their third comeback?!?!?!?!

that's right, moi.

i owe a really long blog post so buckle up. it's gonna be a looooooong ride.


so, what's happening since i last updated? many serious things which i would love to discuss; MP's expences, michael jackson's death, climate change. all big things. all important things, but as always, the most relevant thing to me is me. so that's where we start.

exams have finished, may we all share i a group 'hooray!', and they were (for the most part) not half bad. this was followed by an unbareable amount of time off where i had nothing to occupy myself. problematic right? wrong, for this gave me ample oppertunity to conduct more experiments. remember the chav and fruit experiments? me neither. but i shall post the results at a laster date.

in other news, i've just finished my induction into year 12 (guh, so old). i got all of my chosen subjects:

drama: love. pure and simple. i cannot live without it. i kinda miss my old class, but we're getting along fine and i have drama more often. set up homework though. grumblegrumble. i need to read through two scripts, find a monologue from a different play and prepare it over the summer holidays ready to proform when we get back.
i spend half the day yesterday reserching and i've had a few thoughts. if you know any others or know one of the plays i've picked be sure to tell me what you think! so far i have 'after juliet', 'the pillowman', 'wiping my mothers arse', 'no exit', 'adult child/dead child' and 'hanging woman'.
it's good to get down to work!

psychology: brilliant. i'm really looking forward to studying this full time, but i've got homework for this too. meh, not too bad.

philosophy: awesome! first lesson we just watched the matrix! then we did optical illusions and i freaked me out! love it though.

english literature: as much as i enjoy it, i hate having to buy books. expensive and takes money away from other exploits. the only thing to complain about, is that one of my teachers has hands that make me feel physically sick. guh. you can see her veins, like ropes, all the way up her arm and hands and they wiggle when she moves them nd it's just.....blugh! she's nice though so i'll try and ignore...

all in all, i have for once in my life made some good decisions! i've even been university hunting! i got a prospectus for roehampton university in london, but my mum thinks that i'm 'wasting my potential'. pft, like i'll believe that.

anywho, i'm not sure what else to write...

chavs suck...

don't do drugs...

stay in school...

you get the picture, so till next time it is.