GCSE's, mind-rape, and pokemon overloads are not good for the health!

Guh, i feel like I've been mind-raped by GCSE anxiety.

I've finally and begrudgingly conformed to the fear of exams which i previously didn't mind.
in fact, i sort of revelled in them and enjoyed the silence that is so hard to come by nowadays.

this ended last night when my mum asked when i got my results.

at first i didn't really care, but then i felt an unfamiliar gnawing at my insides.
no, it wasn't a tapeworm, it was fear.

sheer unadulterated, x-rated, heart chilling, sweat dripping, heart attack inducing fear.

history I'm not concerned about, I've definatly not passed that minefield - the only real question being just how badly i failed.
i mean, i was so tired in the exam that i couldn't read the question since the words seemed to be spinning.
in the end i just went to sleep. i at least want to have a failure worthy of a miniature firework display.

English is a big worry since anything below an A* is considered a failure to me if no one else.

drama i have no idea and that makes it all the worse. it's ten times worse when you have no idea how you did.



i was obsessing about it so much last night that i had the randomest, hallucinogenic mind fuck dream ever.
my brain went so overloaded that i produced chemical crack in my sleep.
i won't tell you about it but it did involve an accordion, a White rabbit, a nervously laughing viking woman and a levitating Mr. Bean.

i now feel like i have an idea of what mind altering drugs are like.

luckily, I'm feeling better now but my mum wants to go up to the school and collect the results instead of waiting for them like i want to.

it's a good job i don't know when they're out really, but if someone can give me a heads-up on the actual date that'd be lovely :)




right, next item of business, i found a new mission in life.

i will absolutely conquer Pokemon emerald and Colosseum - legendary Pokemon included.
it won't last long, but as long as it keeps my brain from wandering to other potentially dangerous activities it can't be a bad thing.

I've got about 98 on emerald in the last two days since I've been playing none stop, and before i say it, yes i know I'm a sad little game freak.

I'm also replaying ocarina of time and, if i have time, ff vii.
school is looming though, and i should really get to work round about now.
whatever, still a few weeks left.

okay, i admit, my first love is procrastination in all it's forms, but as long as things get done eventually, i don't see a problem.


anyway, that's long enough for now.
till next time folks

p.s. avoid over thinking at night, it does more damage then good!!!