What's in a name? Irony if nothing else...

hey y'all!

it's been a long time, right?

i won't dignify my absence with excuses, so let your imaginations run wild and free!!!


anyway. I'm ill. I'm grumpy. I'm tired. i keep pressing the wrong keys on my computer. i accidentally dropped a £1.00 in the bin.

there. a summery of what has happened up until this point..... all but ONE THING.


THIS ONE THING SHALL SHAKE YOU TO THE VERY FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SOUL!!!

intrigued? good....



well first thing is first, if you know me, you'll know that I'm constantly hurled abuse at (while secretly enjoying the attention). mainly variations of my last name: Futcher.
also many comments about my man-ish ways and undefinable gender -.-'''

so imagine my shock when i typed into google my last name.

so great was my shock that i couldn't kept from mentally bitch-slapping a nearby librarian.

so fierce was the sheer irony that i couldn't physically keep from cackling like the malformed rent boy i am.




FUTCH IS LESBIAN SLANG FOR A PERSON WHO IS NEITHER FEMININE NOR BUTCH!!!




THERE MUST BE SOME TWISTED COSMIC FORCE THAT NAMED ME 'THE FUTCH' WHILST GIVING ME SUCH A MOCK ABLE EXISTENCE!!!





i hope that your lives are now as complete as mine is.


ta-ra!

c'est ridicule!!!! je suis morir!!!

wow. school. somehow, while it's better from my hellish holiday (see previous post), it seems so bittersweet to be back.

since i managed to accomplish no homework over the holidays, i'm in the middle of a mad dash to get the next days homework in. i spent 7 hours yesterday simply doing one piece of work.

SO TIMES 7 BY 4 PIECES OF WORK!!!???!!!???!!!???!!!???

C'EST RIDICULE!!!

anyways, i shall blog through my work enduced tears and come out completely exhausted on the other side.


sigh, on to something happier i guess.



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well at the weekend i met up with some friends in town, awesome by itself.
now add into the equation the unlimited green tea, the two animes i bought, AND the three rare manga i stumbled across and you are left with a very happy futch indeed!

mmmmm.... green tea....


i'm tempted to write about how incredible these particular series' are but not many of you will be interested. so instead, i'll list some of my favorites (not in the right order) and you can do the research if you're interested m'kay? ;)

best manga list

• d.grey-man
• bleach
• zombie loan
• death note
• fruits basket

best anime list

• yami no matsuei
• naruto
• loveless
• clannad
• air tv

yeah, there's more but i'm limiting them too five each.

hmm...

i think i'll take this oppertunity to tell you a little more about me since i'll never get round to it again..

right-o

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actually, nah, i can't be bothered. if you want to know then bother me about it and i'll force myself round.

peace out, yo.

my holiday from hell. read if you dare!!!

I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!



you may (or may not) be pleased to know that i was not eaten by the beast of the cheshire moors. nor was a ground into cheshire cheese mrs lovett style.



so better then i expected.



overall though - absolute disaster.



ah-hem, list time

• there was little to no heating
• no hot water
• suspicious looking locals who glared at us whenever we ventured forth from our gated off area
• said locals believed our residence to be, and i quote, 'them houses be haunted, they be!'
• we were settled in a place called 'maggoty woods' near 'dark lane'
• the tv barely worked
• my phone had little reception
• THE INTERNET DIDN'T WORK!!!

oh yeah, i forgot to mention that i found THREE AXES UNDER THE SINK!!!! BLOODY AXES!!!

well i didn't stay to check for fresh blood, but you know what they say, if you don't want your nose cut off, keep it to yourself!

what a fun time right? i'd rather have stayed in the tower of london!

the locals actually stopped talkig and just stared at us whenever we entered a room. ordinarilly i would find this halarious - however i was silenced by my irrepressible memories of three bloody axes and the 'ghosts' around maggoty woods.

i barely made it out alive.

however, the god team found the whole trip wonderful and want ot go again next year.

...

...

only one word can sum up my feelings now...

....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

kidnapped? political prisoner? with biggins?!

...if I'm unreachable during the half-term week, don't worry i haven't died... technically. on the inside though I'll be writhing in agony.

yep, mum's decided that we all need a break, and although her intentions are undoubtedly good, she went ahead and booked us into a tiny cottage in some obscure/undisclosed location for five days.

FIVE EFFING DAYS!!! WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME!!!

when i asked what there is to do in said undisclosed location, she replied with a smile: 'nothing much, just walking. it's nice and enclosed so we can do things as a family!'

on its own, not bad, but five whole days with nothing to do but walk around or do homework.... insanity is bound to ensue. the worst part is that there is one hour of Internet a day. ration that between my sister and I leaves thirty minutes. subtracting homework needs leaves me with about five minutes to attempt a mental escape via the world wide web.

so to conclude. five days. enclosed environment. two devout Christians. and a baby. sharing room with said baby and sister. with nothing to do but work.

...this is meant to relax me HOW?!?!?!? I'd rather be choked to death by a constapated chinchilla!!!

goodbye dreams of a nice, quiet break at home with personal space and unlimited Internet access....

don't worry, panda, I'll be back in time for the second Saturday so the four of us can go into town then - I'll regale you with boring tales about walking around some desolate hellhole.


....ah well, i suppose it's not christian camp.








other then that, I've found my political calling at long last!

no, it's not the raving loony party (although that was a close second...). I'm now a sworn member of the liberal party XD. they are my peeps, yo!
I've been searching for a political association i can really believe in, and the liberals seem to tick all the boxes.

so there!



not much else other then a complaint and some kind of declaration of loyalty but whatever. if you've put up with my inconsistent updating this long then I'll trust you'll wait for my 'holiday' to end and I'll update then.



as a reward, I'll introduce you to a little game i enjoy playing. it's called.....


CHRISTOPHER BIGGINS HAS UP HIS BOTTOM TONIGHT!

it's a memory game with ensures hilarity. if Christopher biggins doesn't do it for you, then pick some other miscellaneous celebrity. basically it's a memory recall game - if i say:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight... the entire cast of hairspray.'

you would say:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight... the entire cast of hairspray and a disturbed hamster.'

to which i would reply:

'Christopher biggins has up his bottom tonight...'

so on and so forth.


gosh, i love biggins :)


anyway, over and out!

yo, what's happenin' homies?!?!?!

ahhh, coffee and polos.... storebought crack....

anyways, its been a while and i feel (vaugly) guilty about my long leave of absence.

ish.


so what's happened since my last post? well...

1. baby half rolled over.... or tried to...
2. schoolwork is bogging me down
3. aliens have finally taken over in mandelson-form
4. caffine has lost its buzz so i need to up my coffee intake dramatically
5. the mole-people's invasion is going swimmingly as we now have full mind control over czechoslavakia and minor parts of taiwan
6. for once i'm not hatingthe world and everyone in it - only those of the chav persuasion

fun ain't it?

i spent the whole of my free drawing pictures of moles in various positions (not like that...honest).

i call it - "THE MOLE CHRONICLES!!!"

Something tells me i'm not using my free lessons to the best of my ability.... meh

half-term should be fun - i will go to that gay bar!!!! there's a story here but i won't go into it.

okay, quite brief today, i'll make it later.

maybe...

futch-out!

recap

hola! it's been a while, right?
i'm sure you're hoping for a speedy and satisfying explanation as to my absence, but as per usual you're not going to get one... deal!

anyways, the least i can do is bore you all to death with everything that's happened up to this point.



m'kay folks, first item on the adgenda: GCSE results.

suprisingly, i passed them all - not with flying colours, but i passed none the less.
i got an A*, 3 A's, 4 B's, and 2 C's.
the A* was in english language; that suprised me. however i was even MORE suprised at the fact that i scraped a pass in history.
now that was unexpected seeing as i slept through most of the second exam and had to be forced to hand in my coursework. i get the feeling that the grade isn't accurate, but you know what they say. 'the nail that sticks up, gets hammered down'.

horrible thought but unfortunatly true. damn conformity....



moving on.

i'm loving my lessons - the honeymoon period is starting to wear off due to ridiculous amounts of homework, but this acedemic year is going to be much better then last year.

this is my solomn vow:

no more shall i procrastinate, put off, or postpone my schoolwork.
should i break this, i give you, my honoured blog follower, permission flick my earlobe in mild irratation.



got it? good.


yeah, i'm bored now.
this turned out shorter then intended, but i'll be posting more frequently to make up for it.





'till our next meeting,

XtfX

WTI (wasp transmitted infections) and lazy conspiracys

if i had to eradicate any species from the face of the planet, it would be wasps.
without a doubt.
here is a list about why i loathe them so:

• first off, they BUZZ in your FACE!!! purely to annoy you.
• second, they're sneaky! occasionally you can hear one, but cannot see one. making you paranoid for the rest of the day.
• thirdly, they hate me. no matter who else is in the room, they automatically go straight for me
• and that's not mentioning that one has just stung me. TWICE!!!

i was innocently sat in a restaurant when out of nowhere, one flew up my leg, decides it doesn't like me anymore. violently attacks me, and try's to make a quick getaway...

...noway that was gonna happen.

normally I'd spare the poor thing, but this one was just begging to be put out of it's misery... not to mention it's given me wasp aids...

so now I'm sat here with ammonia on my leg, gritting my teeth and wondering why wasps seem to be addicted to causing me pain.

should i go into another conspiracy rant?

meh, can't be bothered, so you lot can fill in the gaps.

okay, the basic format for a rant:

-blanks- are under government control so that -blank- can happen, which in turn creates a -blank- for all of the -blanks-. so in effect, what they don't want you to know is that -blank- and -blank- are trying to -blank-.

there, if you want a rant, do it yourself.

okay, moving on, my Pokemon binge is going swimmingly, panda's going to help me complete my pokedex, I've almost finished Colosseum, and i finally evolved what I've come to know as the fugly fish (feebas) into a milotic.

fugly fish was infuriatingly difficult to find - so much so that i spend 3 days of my life searching for it.

was it worth it? we'll see when i complete the Dex, but i get the feeling that I'll be left feeling that I've wasted a good chunk of my life.

i also dug out some of my old Digimon toys.

ahhhh, nostalgia.

i've been wearing my season 2 digivice all day. it's both funny and slightly sad.

other then that, nothing blog worthy has happened. so hold tight, once i get my results you can expect a loooooong rant.

brace yourselves for a long, whiny, and boring time from me until then.

kuh-brap!!!

GCSE's, mind-rape, and pokemon overloads are not good for the health!

Guh, i feel like I've been mind-raped by GCSE anxiety.

I've finally and begrudgingly conformed to the fear of exams which i previously didn't mind.
in fact, i sort of revelled in them and enjoyed the silence that is so hard to come by nowadays.

this ended last night when my mum asked when i got my results.

at first i didn't really care, but then i felt an unfamiliar gnawing at my insides.
no, it wasn't a tapeworm, it was fear.

sheer unadulterated, x-rated, heart chilling, sweat dripping, heart attack inducing fear.

history I'm not concerned about, I've definatly not passed that minefield - the only real question being just how badly i failed.
i mean, i was so tired in the exam that i couldn't read the question since the words seemed to be spinning.
in the end i just went to sleep. i at least want to have a failure worthy of a miniature firework display.

English is a big worry since anything below an A* is considered a failure to me if no one else.

drama i have no idea and that makes it all the worse. it's ten times worse when you have no idea how you did.



i was obsessing about it so much last night that i had the randomest, hallucinogenic mind fuck dream ever.
my brain went so overloaded that i produced chemical crack in my sleep.
i won't tell you about it but it did involve an accordion, a White rabbit, a nervously laughing viking woman and a levitating Mr. Bean.

i now feel like i have an idea of what mind altering drugs are like.

luckily, I'm feeling better now but my mum wants to go up to the school and collect the results instead of waiting for them like i want to.

it's a good job i don't know when they're out really, but if someone can give me a heads-up on the actual date that'd be lovely :)




right, next item of business, i found a new mission in life.

i will absolutely conquer Pokemon emerald and Colosseum - legendary Pokemon included.
it won't last long, but as long as it keeps my brain from wandering to other potentially dangerous activities it can't be a bad thing.

I've got about 98 on emerald in the last two days since I've been playing none stop, and before i say it, yes i know I'm a sad little game freak.

I'm also replaying ocarina of time and, if i have time, ff vii.
school is looming though, and i should really get to work round about now.
whatever, still a few weeks left.

okay, i admit, my first love is procrastination in all it's forms, but as long as things get done eventually, i don't see a problem.


anyway, that's long enough for now.
till next time folks

p.s. avoid over thinking at night, it does more damage then good!!!

boredom, sangria, and a note to the panda

wow, it's been a while, right?
every day I've started a new post, but i can never find anything to talk about - quite a feat as normally i don' shut up XP

so finally, i decided. i WILL post something if it's the last thing i do! so here we are.

first off, i saw an incredible movie last night.

green panda, if you're reading this: WATCH THIS MOVIE! there's one character in it (called 'the comedian') who seems to have jumped right out of that comic book you love so much, the boys.

it's called 'the watchmen' and it is probably my new favorite movie

...




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...


yeah... what else...


I'm going over to a friends house on Friday... should be fun...

...

I've gotten a huuuuuge bottle of sangria all to myself so that'll be gone by tomorrow, before you say it, I'm NOT an alcoholic!


okay I'm done, sorry for the short post but whatever, I'll make up for it when i have something to blog about.
later then!

bordom = rants on pokemon, geletin conspiracys, and risembool rangers

last blog was cheerful so to keep the balance I'll start off with a complaint!
ha, take that optimists!

firstly, I'm angry that pocky is still publicly referred to by its' slave name : mikado

nuff said

secondly, I'm livid that Hannah-I'm-so-bloody-perfect-Montana is still on the TV every time i turn it on.

i would continue but I'm boring myself right now and I've just finished my glass of sangria (mmmmmn!).


okay then peeps! what's occurring?

nothing? me neither.


I've spent the entire day updating my ipod and playing Pokemon emerald.
i wouldn't mind, but i know that tomorrow I'll be doing the exact same thing.

Good thing is that I've lavished so much of my time and attention on my Pokemon, i feel a deep emotional bond to each and every one of them, but especially my blazekin (balero) and my breloom (shroom).
in fact, i seriously doubt I'll ever be able to delete this file. sigh. this is going to be farmville all over again...

i need to wait another week for the next chapter of Naruto to be translated into English, that should be fun i guess.

once again boredom sets in and I'm missing school (even if there are suspiciously creepy teachers lurking around the corridors).
see the thing about school is that you can't live with it and you can't live without it.
i dread the day when my life is no longer run by the bell and is instead run by an evil boss who is most likely going to overwork and under pay me.

that's if there are any jobs available, luckily I'm going into a very niche area of work so there can't be as much competition. woo! go me!

also, I've developed a weird craving for jelly babies....
don't ask me why, i rarely eat them, if ever.

wine gums sedate me for now but every time someone goes out i ask for some jelly babies.

but alas, babes of jelly come there none....

apparently there's some kind of psychology around how you eat jelly babies.

apparently if you eat the limbs of the jelly baby, you're more sadistic then if you bite the heads off and give them a nice quick 'death'...

maybe i was wrong in the past by a jelly baby and therefore harbour an unknown (and therefore unexpressed) resentment towards the anthropomorphised delicacies....
and now, a list of possible reasons why i might feel the need to ritualistically torture a jelly baby.

1. maybe a jelly baby cheated on my with some sugary-smartie skank...?
2. maybe a jelly baby slaughtered my family (erm....no, I'm quite sure that's not it...)
3. I'm actually part jelly baby and was ostracised from other as a small child, therefore feeding feelings of isolation and resentment....
4. maybe jelly babies are anti-anime.? (a serious offence in my book!)
5. maybe jelly babies are a chav creation sent from the mother ship to conquer this planet from the belly's of it's inhabitants...
6. maybe jelly baby's are actually tracking devices...
7. or mind control devices....
8. or maybe they're sedatives, created for the sole purpose of making the nation too lazy to do anything, thus allowing the streets to become contaminated with crime and debauchery!!!

that last one is it, I'm sure of it!

anyway, I'm bored again sooooooo.......


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...


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OOH! I FORGOT TO MENTION!!!!

IT'S OLD NEWS NOW BUT MY AMAZING, AWESOME, INCREDIBLE FRIEND SCORED ME AN AUTOGRAPH FROM MY FAVORITE VOICE ACTOR EVER!!!

(I'll stop shouting now XP)

anyway, I'll rant about him for a while now :) see how my mood has automatically lifted!

his name be Vic. Vic Mignogna.
his name in itself deserves to be in bold, i am a proud risembool ranger (the name we, of his fan club, sworn friendly rivals of the miniskirt army).
Vic is funny, has a great singing voice, and is insanely talented. full stop.
anyway, aforementioned friend met him (grr...jealous!) and got his autograph for me!
if you're reading this C.... you...rock!!!

that's another reason for school to start, i can't get my greasy mitts on it until school restarts! Le gasp! I'm not that patient darn it!

so until then, i shall continue to act like I've got rabies and go loco over Pokemon, jelly babies, and Vic.

till then,

night night, don't let the jelly baby's bite!

skeletons, distractions, and a sense of well-being

and what have I been up to?

oh a great many things! massive fun, for a kick off!
i noticed, much to my amusement, that my skeleton hoodie (of which i have become inseparable lately) actually has glow in the dark bones and a FREAKY scary skull.

so i said to myself - 'TF my dear, what tomfoolery can we expect from this?'
- 'why, all kinds of mischief! we could... sneak out at midnight, find a
drunken chav and scare him sober by pretending to be a scary zombie...'
- 'what a ripping idea, old chum!'

I'll stop it now.

but my plot was foiled by that diabolical mastermind, forgetfulness.
i was all set to sneak out the side door and walk up to the pub, but (perhaps wisely) i got distracted from my anti-social hi jinks (he he, funny word) by a spectacular program called 'you have been watching' and i ended up having more fun watching that then i ever would scaring a chav into sobriety.

the AA will thank me I'm sure

who'd of thunk it?


so I'm relatively chirpy today, if not tired. baby is 23 days old today (or thereabouts) and he seems to have the lungs of a 23 year old.

and that's without his pissing everywhere.

yet he still seems to be the most befuddlingly adorable thing I've ever seen.



ugh, i feel so..... sickeningly doting!




in other news, psycoville is over. may we all grieve our loss with a unanimous and resounding
'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!!!!'

I've figured out how to work the blinds having had them since the age of 11

I've not been rotting away in front of the computer as per usual.

I've actually been out and about with friends

I've dressed up as a nun (again. i might post a picture later on if you're really nice to me :P)

and I've gotten a new appreciation for Michael Jackson



what a great holiday!

or is it......?



yep, so far so good. apart from getting a bloody foot from walking in awkward shoes (don't ask) and a revitalised love of Pokemon on all of my game stations, nothing has had a downside.

being the (relatively) lovable pessimist that i am, i know that things are probably going to go wrong very very soon.

i have a sixth sense for these things.

or, according to Stephen fry, a twelfth sense.

for as you see, we are always taught about the five senses.
sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste.

but what about a sense of balance? or decency? or thermosensory? a sense of direction?

roughly there are about 11.




anyway, off i pop.

ta ra

my night out with a potential rapist, joy

has anyone else been called a Heathen lately?
no?
ha, you're missing out!
it is SO MUCH FUN!

outside of the cinema tonight there was some overly religious woman who clearly resented the fact that i told her I'm not religious. to her credit, this didn't deter her from trying to convert me (as if no one's tried before), to which i responded with a hearty laugh. soon i got bored and walked off with her calling me a heathen!

ha ha, twas amazing!

I'd love to see her face if i told her that I'd recently converted to Islam, next time i run into a half-crazed cross-junkie I'll try it.


anyway, i was at the cinema, on my way to see harry potter (shush!) with my dad (I forced him along XP) and i went to get us some drinks.

innocent enough.

however this seemingly ordinary event became not so ordinary when the girl serving me started acting a little...odd.
it was the adult showing, so I'm guessing she assumed i was 18 but she was quite obviously flirting.
winking and touching my hand...
it was both odd and flattering.


sigh, my first potential rapist, delighted.


so i went off, watched the film, didn't hate it, and came home. that's about it, bit an anti-climax to be honest. and that is basically all that's happened since my last post.

I've been to bored to do my promised experiment, but i did do an IQ test.

117, suck on THAT!

so feeling sustainably smug, relaxed, and attractive for once (even if only to cinema-counter lesbians) i shall leave this post for your enjoyment.

pip pip!

my addiction unveiled...

i have a confession to make. it's very serious so even if it sounds like a joke, i ca assure you it isn't. please, i beg of yuo as my fellow bloggers to hear me out and not judge me.

there's no easy way for me to say this but....

*standsup*

my name is grace....and i... am addict.

there. it's in the open.

now i'm not addicted to the traditional stuff, like heroin or alcohol. i am in face addicted to a little game called 'farm ville' on facebook.

i know this seems like a bit of an anti-climax, but i swear it's been tearing me appart!

i've stayed up until the early hours of the morning nigh on a week for the solepurpose of harvesting some artichokes that i planted the previous week. it's a viscious cycle.

i just can't leave it alone, because i planted those seed, i i feel i am responsible for nurturing them and loving each and every strawberry.

until a few days ago.

...

to put things simply, intervention. i realised that there was absolutely no point to the game. it was just plant, harvest, plant, harvest, plant, harvest day after day!

how could i have been so blind?

this experience really woke me up and i finally realised how easily i can slip into an obsessive insanity, especially with gaming (something that i love without limit).

so i've decided to take a break, and actually leave well enough alone. after all, if you can't maintain, abstain!

...wow... that was pretty good for a phrase i just made up.... i should do this more often...


aside from that, i need to get started on my homework for psychology. 'tis good homework though and i'm glad i picked it.

short meaningless post today, but with a sweet philosophicalish ending.

just right.

later then!

exorcists, sprogs and the chav psyche! why do i do these things?!?!?!?!

...sigh...

i hate my throat....

i've had this cough for over a week now and it sounds like i should call an exorcist for my lungs. seriously, it's all rumbly and evil-sounding!
but to my suprise, i'm not the only one! several people who i know (but have not been in contact with) have developed a similar illness.

coincidence?

i think not!


coughcough...conspiracy...coughcough....


and on top of it, i've just dropped a buiscuit into my coffee! now it's lumpy! GUH!!!

HOWEVER, aside from the demonic cough and the kamakaze biscuit of doom things have been great! for one reason......


i now have a nephew! it's a babeh! in my house!

those who know me know that normally i hate children with the passionate intent of a thousand exploding suns but i think that this must change.

let it be known that i hate ALMOST all children with the passionate intent of a thousand exploding suns becasue baby Riley Nathanial David William F*****r is awesome!

(by the way i wasn't beeping out a swear word, i was blanking out my name for privacy's sake.)

it's David after my dad, William after my grandad, and Nathanial because....erm....dunno really, it's probobly a christian thing...maybe?

but he is little and squishy and barely cries.

i have made a private pact to never let him be taken into the chavlish way of thinking as is the norm nowerdays. it'll be a challence but hey, a mini-male-me is going to be toddling around! haha, i'm multiplying! be afraid biatches!!!

ignore that...


on other news, i have come up with a new experiment!



this is so challenging, that i may never be the same mole afterwards. if that happens, may my sacrifice not be in vain.

if you're fed up with the chav bashing then i pity you, because this shall also be a chav-orintated experiment.

my goal? find out why chavs appear to be thicker then an industrial sized plank of wood. so to begin with, i will take an IQ test in the morning to measure my normal intelligence, then completely adsorb myself into the chav culture. well, only as far as listening to some HORRIFIC repetative chav track on repeat ALL DAY before retesting myself.

are we scared yet?

be expecting the results soon but for now, i must mourn my losses....

SPARE ME MY LIFE!

i have here infront of me a box of blackcurrent flavoured lozenges.

innocent, no?

well after reading the packet, i have found that it is not so innocent at all.

DO NOT EXCEED THE STATED DOSE.

IF YOU TAKE TOO MANY, TALK TO A DOCTOR STRAIGHT AWAY.

IF ANYTHING UNUSUAL HAPPENS, TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY.

O.o

am i the only one who finds this odd? so i am currently testing out how many lozenges it takes before i get illenough to stop.

lets see, a box of 24... 1 every 3 hours...

sounds do-able i guess. here goes nothing...





....






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..





.







right changed my mind based on the fact that i don't want to be forever known as the mole-girl who died from a lozenger overdose.

not worth it.

but i have been itching to do another experiment so please give me some fresh ideas. although i must note that i don't want to die in an embarrassing way so.... be reasonable.

on other buissiness, i've been to a party!

with friends!

who i know!!!

LE GASP!

moving on, it was great fun so thankyou panda for inviting me!


hmm. what else?

OH! i found an amazing japanese learn english program! it's called "zuiikin' english" and it rocks!
it's right up my alley with useful phrases such as 'spare me my life', 'i was robbed by two men'
and 'take anything you want'

... it makes me glad to know that it seems we're looked upon as a load of muggers, murders and crime lords... at least they're prepared...

here's where you can watch a clip, it's strangely addictive! : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0V5mvXKee8&feature=related

okay i'm bored again.

tune in later folks!

catch-up

surprise, surprise!
guess who's making their third comeback?!?!?!?!

that's right, moi.

i owe a really long blog post so buckle up. it's gonna be a looooooong ride.


so, what's happening since i last updated? many serious things which i would love to discuss; MP's expences, michael jackson's death, climate change. all big things. all important things, but as always, the most relevant thing to me is me. so that's where we start.

exams have finished, may we all share i a group 'hooray!', and they were (for the most part) not half bad. this was followed by an unbareable amount of time off where i had nothing to occupy myself. problematic right? wrong, for this gave me ample oppertunity to conduct more experiments. remember the chav and fruit experiments? me neither. but i shall post the results at a laster date.

in other news, i've just finished my induction into year 12 (guh, so old). i got all of my chosen subjects:

drama: love. pure and simple. i cannot live without it. i kinda miss my old class, but we're getting along fine and i have drama more often. set up homework though. grumblegrumble. i need to read through two scripts, find a monologue from a different play and prepare it over the summer holidays ready to proform when we get back.
i spend half the day yesterday reserching and i've had a few thoughts. if you know any others or know one of the plays i've picked be sure to tell me what you think! so far i have 'after juliet', 'the pillowman', 'wiping my mothers arse', 'no exit', 'adult child/dead child' and 'hanging woman'.
it's good to get down to work!

psychology: brilliant. i'm really looking forward to studying this full time, but i've got homework for this too. meh, not too bad.

philosophy: awesome! first lesson we just watched the matrix! then we did optical illusions and i freaked me out! love it though.

english literature: as much as i enjoy it, i hate having to buy books. expensive and takes money away from other exploits. the only thing to complain about, is that one of my teachers has hands that make me feel physically sick. guh. you can see her veins, like ropes, all the way up her arm and hands and they wiggle when she moves them nd it's just.....blugh! she's nice though so i'll try and ignore...

all in all, i have for once in my life made some good decisions! i've even been university hunting! i got a prospectus for roehampton university in london, but my mum thinks that i'm 'wasting my potential'. pft, like i'll believe that.

anywho, i'm not sure what else to write...

chavs suck...

don't do drugs...

stay in school...

you get the picture, so till next time it is.

me? insane? NEVER!!! ...well, only about 35% or so...

34.659090909090914% insane people.

darn i was expecting higher...


ah well, english lit exam today. went horrible.

well, parts of it anyway. part one (of mice and men) was a snap, i swear, smoke was floating across the room from my pencil i was writing that fast!
i felt the consequences in the poetry section though. i hated all three of the choices, so i picked one at random and blathered on about something or other until i was ready to cry.

it didn't go well.


in other news i'm going out with friends this saterday! it's a rare treat for me as i'm not generally allowed out, so i'm happier then a kitten chasing a leaky cow. aww, what a sickeningly lovely image...


not much else, just felt like blogging. i feel my standard has slipped lately so my next post shall be a nice long rant.

please be patient with me!

boredom post = insanity

i'm sat in the school library with greenpanda, posting simultaniously. we're sooooo wonderful. not.

just called me a mong, the slag, lol.

anyway, i'm giving you all a running commentary of the library goings on. after all, there are a lot of secrets in the school library...buried beneath tonnes of dust and neglected novellas.

actually, there arn't any secrets, but i shall make it my mission today to find one. whether it's what is actually in the librarians private back room, or even the librarys secret store of porn (i know it's there!), i shall uncover the truth!!!

hmm...

nothing as of yet...

greenpanda just laughed for some reason... now he's calling me to look so hang on...

it was an e-mail i sent like last year and he's only just noticed. *shakes head in exasperation...*

anyway, he's creating a new blog so follow it or he'll kill me.

listening to lily allen...


i've just realised that this is extememly pointless, stupid, and quite frankly one of the worst ideas i've had in a while. and that is something... remember the chav day and drawing faces on fruit? i wish i didn't...


anyway, the librarians are all evil little harpies who squat in their chairs all day and glare at anyone who dares disturb them. i know, they're looking right now.

wait...

one's coming over...

OH GOD!!!

NO! NO! NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!













only joking. nothings happening so i'll stop now.
i'll probobly do another bordom post later.
see you i guess.

mybook? myface? facespace? who cares!

The day has arrived.

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuun!

The math exam.

okay, it's not all that dramatic, but darn it i have to go dramaless for ages now that i'm on exam leave! math's isn't actually a horrible test... compared to my history... my god that's awful...

i shouldn't really say 'my god' as i don't really believe in one. i've ranted about this before but it's such a big topic and i've never really gone into detail before for one reason or another. nor shall i today, but watch this space because it's coming.

maybe...


in other news, i finally succumbed to the norm and got myself a facebook.


ha, take that society! now i'm one of you! you're stuck with me! muahahahahaha!!!


the proboblem with facebook is that i'm very slow with it and therefore it takes ages to do anything. but hey, you can't argue with 51 friends!

seriously though, i really am loathe to join in with the whole online chatting thing (this doesn't count btw). i find it pointless, time consuming, and very superficial.

'just one more friend on myspace...then i'll be happy and fulfilled and whatnot...'

'just one more picture of myself...then i'll be popular....'

doesn't make much sense, i have nowhere near 51 people i consider my friends. i count about... five. six if i'm in a loving mood and i'm fine with that. it's like a competition. a strange, morally distorted competition.


it's even worse when someone you don't like wants to be your friend. i have no. idea. what. to. do.

firstly, this girl i used to be on and off friends with but we never really liked each other we shall call H and i fall out. pretty badly, rumours flying and whatnot. then she acts like it's all my fault. (i won't go into details but it wasn't me) now she adds me on myface or whatever, and i have no idea what to do.

doI callouslydeny her feeble attempts to add another friend on mybook and cruelly crush her spirit? or do i grudgingly accept her friend request and be forever followed by the horror that is H.

meh, i'll just avoid the issue like normal, but i really cannot stand her.

grr...

right i sound really grouchy today so feed me comments and soothe my wrath!

soothe it!

fish obituaries.

if life gets you down, think about my fish and the world shall magically appear that little bit less horrible.



confused?



well let me explain...



my fish is an inspiration. no matter how much we don't feed, clean, or pay attention to it, it refuses to die. hmm. superfish... i love him for his grit and determination which inspires me to this day, but he really needs to get a move on. i'm not being mean, but if i were him i'd have given up long ago.

once our fish tank was full and thriving, but now it's just a sad parody of its former glory-with one remaining fish, a tiiiiny little thing that somehow manages to survive. i wouldn't mind so much if it weren't for the fact that he disappears inside the tank, and only reappears when we decide that he's probobly died and that we should empty the tank. he must have a little tunnel leading to a secret food supply with a mini fishy-sofa and tv (don't ask me how electricity works underwater).

i don't want to appear insensitive, but i am, so that's how it appears.

anyway i feel i've been neglecting my blog as of late so i think i'll post a lot in the next few weeks (or at least till i get bored of it).



gosh, last week of compulsary education.

'tis both a sad and joyous thing. i definatly won't miss history, but i've just had my last lesson this morning so... HA! IN YOUR FACE! i still have the exam to go, but what the hey, what's the worst that can happen.

i've decided to follow suit with greenpanda and write an obituary for all of my lessons. i've done them all for 11years of my life, i owe them that much at least.

so, ahem:

history : what can i say. the bane of my existance (well, one of them at least). i used to be good at it but... alas i went astray. i used to dread the stuffy classroom, the endless coursework, the intolorable amounts of dates, and the teachers unusual fetish for documentarys by david attenborough. no more however. it has been banished.

english : i love english. so much that i'm carrying on with it so nothing really to write. i used to hate it but now it's become apparent that i have a (and i quote) 'natural gift' (looks smug) i was compelled to continue. oh, english related news, i've been nominated to go to oxford university and go to an english seminar to meet the author Philip Pullman (you'll know him from books such as 'his dark materials' and the golden compass). haha, am i not special!...no i don't have a rapidly inflating ego...

biology : this was also a thorn in my side-but it was an enjoyable thorn because i liked biology. i had some coursework issues but meh, that's all in the past. still, i'm glad i don't have anymore tests in it.

maths : i actually have an untapped love of maths. i luurve maths now. i might have considered continuing it but i still need to fight the urge to cound on my fingers (shhh, don't tell anyone!). my teacher's nice, if not a little eccentric, but hey, i like 'em like that! boring teachers make the subject boring. i don't want to loose all that hard work in maths so i'll probobly sit at home when i'm 30, pouring over my old revision guide and sobbing '...good times!...waaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!' i can see it now.

R.E : it's alright. subject's not bad, but i hate my class. i'm gonna sound so prudish, but i hate loud classes. classes are for working, not eating snow. it happened. tut, idiots.

drama : drama is the sunshine in my otherwise dull, gloomy, and depressing life. so naturally i'm never gonna stop. NEVER! NEVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!! ( i need to stop having suger)

student support : not been in it long, and good thing to. so patronising. you can tell that they go to regular classes on how to talk out hostage situations and council agressive chavs at once. they all look identical too...could this perhaps be some form of conspiricy?... i'll get back to you on that...

chemistry : guh, don't remind me. i don't hate it but i most certainly don't like it either.

physics : same as chemistry really, but the teacher ROCKS! he's a tad ditzy but noone's perfect. physics i may miss. not decided yet.

french : i would adore french if we weren't tested in it. i just love languages. i would continue it but...no...just no to the horrific exams.

hmm. that's all my lessons.

that'll be all for today folks.

(anyone get the feeling this blog was slightly morbid- having just talked about ding fish and obituarys... no? just me then...)